The Modern Book of Etiquette
by Elinor Ames
Blue Ribbon Books, NY
© 1940
Chapter XIX -- Social and Business Correspondence
The art of writing letters is one which our forefathers considered of major importance, but since the advent of the telephone, telegram, and radiogram we have to a great extent neglected it. No one will deny the advantages of any of these inventions, but there are still instances in which a letter is necessary, and nothing can be substituted.
Most of us are inclined to procrastinate when it comes to writing letters. Yet the fact remains that we all like to receive them. One of the most interesting women in society today once told me that she made it a hard and fast rule always to write a letter as soon as the need arose.
It is not practicable to speak of the length or contents of ordinary social letters, for these things depend upon the person to whom you write and what you are writing about. But there are a few invariable rules, of which the first are: Never be rambling. Never be sad in tone. And never be critical of another.
Avoid starting a letter to a friend with an apology. For instance, "I know I should have written to you weeks ago, but I've been busy" may be the truth, but it is useless and unflattering.
Your Letters Reveal Your Personality
It should be unnecessaryto mention that paper and envelopes must match, that blots, scratched-out words, and untidy erasures have no place in the letter of a well-bred person. All of these things reveal the personality of the writer. Neatness and the general appearance of a letter were considered important in our grandfather's days. In our modern rush, we seem to think that if a message goes forth that is sufficient. How it looks does not bother us.
Handwriting, too, needs more attention than it is usually accorded. We have grown to depend so completely on machines that few of us care about the appearance of our writing. While I am not advocating a return to Victorian flourishes, I am suggesting that writing should be legible.
Letters are sacred and should never be shown to another, unless you know that the writer will not mind. It should be unnecessary to say that one never reads a letter not addressed to him. This is true even among members of a family. A wife may be well aware that a letter addressed to her husband is from her brother and of equal interest to her, but she should not open it. Nor should a parent open mail addressed to a son or daughter. A properly brought-up daughter will say That letter was from Tom Brown. Would you like me to read it to you? -- but under no circumstances should her mother consider herself a board of censorship.
Always write what is in your mind -- except when you are angry. I remember an English teacher in college who used to tell us to give vent to our feelings in a letter, then tear that letter up and write our second thoughts for mailing. This is wise advice.
The Body of the Letter
There are no definite rules, other than the rules of good composition, to be followed in writing the average informal letter. The writer should have his thoughts connected, should avoid scratching out and blots, and should come to the point. A new thought or subject naturally requires a new paragraph.
