Good Manners for All Occasions: A Practical Manual
by Margaret E. Sangster
The Christian Herald, NY
© 1904
Chapter IV -- Good Manners in Correspondence
So much of social intercourse is in these days carried on by correspondence that it occupies a place in the foreground and is extremely important. Possobly there are still houses where one has to hunt from garret to cellar for the means to write a letter, where the pens are poor, the ink is thick and dry, and the sheets of paper few and far between. But these houses are exceptional.
The first requisites for letters are pens, ink, and paper. Suit the pen to your preference; a stub, a sharp point, or a medium pen must be chosen to suit the special taste of the writer who uses it. In ink the best choice is a good firm black. Colored inks are not liked by society, or approved in the schoolroom, or in business. Choose an ink that flows freely from the pen, and shows itself black at once, not hours later.
Write distinctly and clearly with a good pen, with black ink, on paper of good quality, and no one need criticize your taste or your judgment.
A Good Letter
What constitutes a good letter? First, the really good letter carries with it the good wishes of the sincere soul. It is not cold, perfunctory, nor over formal. Neither is it burdened by long diffuse apologies for not having written sooner, nor weighted by flowery compliments, nor does it meander through meaningless sentences to a lame and halting conclusion.
A letter is a message from friend to friend. Something to say is its excuse for being. The letter that is most like good talk, like the vital expression of one friend to another, of information, faith, hope, cheer, or courage, is the best possible letter.
Children's Letters
Children should be encouraged to write letters to their friends and relatives, and the doing this must be considered a part of their education. Never open a child's letter. Let him or her enjoy this pleasure. At the same time, if a child shows you the letter, as usually a child does, read it with interest. All a child's life, letters included, should lie like an open book before the eyes of a parent.
Hints to Young Girls
Will the young girls accept a few practical hints about their letters?
A girl should not waste time on useless letter-writing, but she should remember to write to people to whom a letter is always welcome, such as to relatives at a distance, to invalids, or people who lead lonely, monotonous lives.
A letter is often a great treasure to an elderly aunt, or an aged governess, and the pleasure of a letter to an invalid can scarcely be calculated. There are many little kindnesses which may be done by means of a friendly note, just as a ray of sunshine may come through the smallest chink. But a girl is wiser to stay her hand when it comes to corresponding with young men, and it is much better for her not to commence correspondence with any man except her betrothed lover.
History shows us that all the letters which have been most carefully preserved from past centuries are those which the writers have implored should be destroyed at once. We never know into whose hands a letter may ultimately fall, so it is wiser never to write anything which one many afterward have occasion to regret.
Three things may never return, says the Arab proverb -- the flying hour, the opportunity and the spoken word; and the written word is even more difficult to recall, so I would counsel my girl readers to think twice before they speak, but fifty times before they write what they may afterward wish they had never penned.
